Living Your One Wild and Precious Life

by Deb Walz

Mary Oliver's The Summer Day

"I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"

This poem has meant so much to me since I first read it. It has a life of it's own and has always rang true. I have it on my vision board and as I sat staring at my board, meditating, all the pictures and words whispered to me and it felt like I was seeing this poem for the first time.

I realized though that I have focused more on certain lines than others. The last line of course and the lines about what prayer is.

Today the lines "Tell me what else should I have done? and Doesn't everything die at last and too soon?" struck me like not only an arrow in my soul but also sung to me as a mourning dove call.

Since I became disabled, despite many months of "BEING", I still have felt my life isn't worth much unless I am accomplishing SOMETHING BIG, like writing a book, teaching a class, helping groups of people find their way etc.

What I saw today was living in the moment, loving others, loving myself and developing a relationship with God is ALL that's important! No other SUCCESS, ACCOMPLISHMENT or RECOGNITION  is necessary for my Higher Power. So doing what I am doing, finding gratitude, love and joy in each day is enough.

Plus the line that everything dies, too soon ,cut into my soul. Of course: Every one whom we love who dies, dies too soon!!!  And we all will die. and I believe be reunited with those who went before us.

Today I felt gratitude for a sunny day, for my cuddly goldens, for my husband, daughters and blessed glorious grandchildren, I felt love for all of them as well as myself and Joy that they are all in my life today. And that was enough.