Looking At Yourself Honestly

Just because I believe I am enough and OK just the way I am, does not mean I am not open to improving myself or looking in the mirror figuratively at what isn’t working and doing what I can to change it.

One of my character defects is reacting to other people. If someone else acts in a way toward me that isn’t nice or that I don’t like, I get bent out of shape, mood wise. I start obsessing about what that person’s problem was or what did I do to make them feel that way?

Apparently, I assume everyone should like me! Well, why not? I am a likable sweet loving person! Who wouldn’t like me? Well, apparently a few people. : ) I occasionally have to have a talk with myself and explain that there are millions of people in the world. Thousands have actually met me and some MAY NOT CARE FOR ME! I just may not be everyone’s cup of tea. I do tend to talk a lot, I do have a definite golden retriever obsession as well as some very strong opinions about breastfeeding, alcoholism and a few other subjects. In some areas, I may turn some people off.

So when someone says something nasty to me (even uncalled for) or when my husband is in a bad mood and makes a grouchy face or statement, I need to tell myself: “Oh well” or “ Guess they are having a bad day” or “Not my problem” . Because it really isn’t my problem. It has nothing to do with me and I don’t have to let their mood ruin my day. They are responsible for themselves. And I am responsible for me. : )

Now if someone is rude or says something I think shouldn’t just get a bye, I can choose to tell them. But I need to think that through first. It can start an argument so I need to make sure I want to go there. I can use ” I “statements, like “I am hurt by that” Or “That was rude and I don’t have to tolerate that kind of treatment”

Another part of reacting to other’s negative behaviors is thinking that means something is wrong with me. OK, here we are again. Back to being enough. Isn’t it just weird and interesting how most things seem to come back to that?

When I look at my part in an interaction with another person that didn’t go the way I wanted, I need to very honestly look at:

1) Did my behavior have any part in how they acted toward me? Was I being rude, selfish, etc?

2) If I truly think I had no part in how they acted, then I need to LET IT GO. It’s on them. Their stuff and really has nothing to do with me. I am enough and OK just the way I am. : )