Taking Care of Ourselves

I attended a workshop yesterday with twelve women called Awakening the Muse. I knew a few of the women and the others I had never met but felt a kinship as we were all somewhat close in age and interested in bringing change and more creativity into our lives.
We chatted about why we were there, filled out a questionnaire designed to help us get more in touch with our muse by our interests and facts about our lives. That was followed by a guided imagery and making a Muse Box. The facilitators had a table laden with all kinds of papers, markers, glue, glitter to help us decorate our tea cans and turn them into Muse Boxes that will hold anything we desire! Then we chanted to bring the first of three such meetings to a close. I drove away feeling so filled with light and joy!
Next week I am facilitating a workshop on Nurturing Your Spirit. It is a two-hour group to give women a heads up about ways to feel good about themselves.

Women today are SO busy, distracted, stressed and focused on OTHERS that we just aren’t willing or we don’t think it is OK to put ourselves first.
Or just even take care of us after our kids! We seem to just ax ourselves off the list all together or the list is SO long, we never reach US!
But like a blog I read this morning, we need to treat ourselves just like the flight attendants on airlines tell us. Put on YOUR oxygen mask first, before your child’s, that way you are able to aid your child.

I recall my therapist many years ago, telling me that by taking care of my own needs through things like therapy, exercise, positive self talk, that I was setting a good example for my three daughters to follow when they became adults/wives/moms!
Much of this also is the fact we don’t value ourselves. I know in our society we have been raised to be caregivers, be unselfish and put other’s needs first. But it doesn’t work if we are falling apart and also raising children who grow up believing they either need to be taken care of (that is a whole different blog!) or always have to put someone before themselves.
Life is not black and white. It is possible to take care of yourself as well as love your children and partner.
One thing I strongly believe in is don’t do anything for your child (or partner) that they are capable of doing for themselves. That doesn’t mean you can’t make meals for your family or do something nice for them. It means teaching them to take care of themselves is a parent’s main job!!!
We aren’t meant to raise helpless invalids who always need Mommy and Daddy the rest of their lives. Who have to live at home at age 30 or call Dad at ages forty to borrow his credit card when their car breaks down.

My husband and I raised three daughters who had cook nights, did their own laundry, had jobs at age sixteen if they wanted a car, could change the oil and flat tire on said car and grew up to be happy independent women. I am so proud of all three of them.

And I learned to love and take care of my self emotionally, spiritually and physically. I hope my daughters learned to do that also.