Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Eating Issues in the U.S.


The First Lady and many others have taken on obesity in the U.S. as their cause. They all have good intentions but like every other issue in this country they are applying Band-Aids rather than addressing the issue within our society.

Yes, many people are obese and many (especially young girls) have the opposite issue, anorexia and bulimia. It goes WAY beyond what we put in our mouths or don’t. I have experienced all those issues.

That problem for me was a hole within myself. I felt like I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t OK just the way I was: an intelligent creative person.  All magazines and TV said I needed a certain diet, make up, haircut, outfit to be worthy.  In spite of myself, I managed to have a career, marry, raise children and now enjoy my “retirement”.   I do though have many health issues, some related to the hole within myself because I stuffed/or denied food all those years.

I am not alone. I see it everywhere. Whether an overweight compulsive eater in line at McDonalds or an emaciated teenager at a local boutique or a “normal” looking forty something telling her five year old she can’t have an ice cream cone because she doesn’t want to be fat and ugly!

I have seen an acquaintance chastise her daughter at work parties over the years about food. She controlled everything this poor kid put in her mouth. “That’s enough potato salad for you!” or “No dessert for you!” I saw this poor girl go from a normal healthy 5-year-old to a 400 pound twenty something. I am not saying you should allow your kids free reign or constant candy and junk. I believe it is all about moderation in what is offered but most of all we as a society need to break the cycle.

I don’t have all the answers. Much in our society is broken with all the drug addiction, alcoholism, shopping, hoarding, gambling, sex addiction and of course eating issues.

Yes, we can do as many suggest. Get more exercise and eat healthy food but you have to make those things fun! Show kids cooking can be fun and playing games, sports etc is fun! (without the parental criticism)
But also allow children to say how they feel and validate it.  Don’t tell them “No, you don’t or shouldn’t feel that way!” Allow them to take risks and have their own accomplishments. Self worth does not come from everyone telling a child how wonderful, beautiful, special they are! It comes from them feeling they can work to accomplish a task on their own! Giving them everything makes sit worse!!!! They feel “ My parents think I am worthless”

Band-Aids won’t fix this. Getting rid of McDonalds or candy bars won’t either. I hope we can get a clue. The U.S. seems to be the most outwardly focused country. What is on the inside?  The spirit, the creative mind and soul. We need to focus on enriching those things rather than botox and hair dye. Until then, I’ll treasure all that that is beautiful in my life. Including the occasional softserve cone.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Living Your One Wild and Precious Life

Mary Oliver's The Summer Day

"I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?"

This poem has meant so much to me since I first read it. It has a life of it's own and has always rang true. I have it on my vision board and as I sat staring at my board, meditating, all the pictures and words whispered to me and it felt like I was seeing this poem for the first time.

I realized though that I have focused more on certain lines than others. The last line of course and the lines about what prayer is.

Today the lines "Tell me what else should I have done? and Doesn't everything die at last and too soon?" struck me like not only an arrow in my soul but also sung to me as a mourning dove call.

Since I became disabled, despite many months of "BEING", I still have felt my life isn't worth much unless I am accomplishing SOMETHING BIG, like writing a book, teaching a class, helping groups of people find their way etc.

What I saw today was living in the moment, loving others, loving myself and developing a relationship with God is ALL that's important! No other SUCCESS, ACCOMPLISHMENT or RECOGNITION  is necessary for my Higher Power. So doing what I am doing, finding gratitude, love and joy in each day is enough.

Plus the line that everything dies, too soon ,cut into my soul. Of course: Every one whom we love who dies, dies too soon!!!  And we all will die. and I believe be reunited with those who went before us.

Today I felt gratitude for a sunny day, for my cuddly goldens, for my husband, daughters and blessed glorious grandchildren, I felt love for all of them as well as myself and Joy that they are all in my life today. And that was enough.